Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Closing Thoughts

In sorting through Mum's possessions we found the following notes on various aspects of her life.

Tim and I have decided to share these in an unedited form as the last entry on this blog.

Again we would like to thank everyone for their continued support and kindness.

As a daughter -

I led a happy life with mother playing lead parenting and caring role.

I was a fairly compliant child and later in life sometimes wished I had been more rebellious.

Happiest days were at the beautiful Glennifer Brae age 8-16, so grateful to my parents for this opportunity.

I probably didn't achieve to the levels my parents hoped for, but I don't think I embarrassed them.

As a sister -

I was the big sister to Leigh and Scott. I don't recall fighting with either of them, although they bickered with each other constantly.

I don't recall a cross word with them during my whole life time. You'll have to ask them if I was an appropriate big sister.

They have each been a great support to me particularly since late 2000.

As a wife -

I loved the soft submission into wife hood, partnership, security, mutual understanding, togetherness and independence as an individual and a couple.

Never felt I had to live up to any particular expectations, just knew that I would met whatever they were (unstated) and mine would be met.

I was wrong.

We all make many mistakes in life - that was my worst by a long shot. 33 years of not knowing how it was meant to be.

For the last twelve years I have been grieving my losses
- love of my life
- being his wife
- my family unit
- a later life of togetherness
- belief in myself and my decision making with regards to family

As a mother -

Did it all by the seat of my pants.

Being a mother is the most fulfilling role I played in my life.

The responsibility is huge and could be overwhelming. Fortunately there's not really time to think about it, so you just get on with it.

I resolved to bring my children up to be great people who would be caring achievers and make a positive contribution during their lives.

As a grandmother -

I've had a long distance role.

The disadvantage is the lack of constant contact and the comfortable familiarity that comes with it. They have to get to know you again with each contact. The advantage is that when there is contact it's of the 24 hour kind.

I've been privileged that my children have welcomed me into their lives and their homes to experience round the clock grand mothering.

I hope Zeke and Willow and Oscar will remember their Mumma as a grandmother who was fun and made them laugh, taught them special things, was firm but fair and (unfinished)

As a cancer patient I learnt

- You need to take charge of your own case

- That the system is not perfect, doctors make mistakes

- That the final decision is yours alone

- That friends are amazing people

- It's ok to ask people to help